Dedication, Going on Seven Years
This is my favorite time of year where the temperatures are just right and all the colors are beautiful. Along with all that autumn joy, for me it is sad as well. My late husband had his surgery to remove cancer in August of 2006 and started his chemotherapy shortly after that. It was an aggressive treatment as it was an aggressive cancer that I later realized invaded his lungs. By October his health started slowly to deteriorate. His last treat o treat with our children, my son was a ninja warrior and my daughter "Hello Kitty." On December 13th 2006 ,he lost his life, I remember the trip to the hospital six days prior. We had a 1996 Ford Windstar Van. I drove that day, first we dropped the children off at school and headed to Sandusky, Ohio to The Firelands Hospital. We were quiet on the trip up with only the radio for noise.
At that time, I didn't know how close to death he was. He always hid things from me to keep me from getting upset, although I always knew something was going on. I would look over at him in the passenger seat and he'd smile to give just a hint of reassurance that it would be ok. I love classic rock and had a station tuned on that played those "Oldies" I had turned on route 4 when Styx's "Babe" came on. The words were like a haunting reminder as if my late husband were saying the words himself. Til this day I have trouble listening to the song because it makes me cry.
Its going on seven years since his death and still its just the kids and I, seven years older. Days go by and its easier but there are days when it isn't. I recall what my late husband's aunt told me( being and still a widow) at his funeral "This is the easy part." I thought "Easy" but she right. The lonely days and nights since are harder for the kids and I . We go on and share happy times together, there will always be an empty feeling. Having family around you that love and care for you make all the difference in the world.
I know my late husband is fine, he is in a place where he is healthy and happy. I am sure in heaven you get to do the things you enjoyed here on earth and I am sure he is farming his own land in Heaven.
I think about you, Jeff and know you are just fine, you would be proud of Jon as he is in the marching band R.O.T.C. Carianne is having trouble with anorexia but is doing better, she plays saxophone, sings and even tried a violin. Me, I am doing the best I can, I miss you!
At that time, I didn't know how close to death he was. He always hid things from me to keep me from getting upset, although I always knew something was going on. I would look over at him in the passenger seat and he'd smile to give just a hint of reassurance that it would be ok. I love classic rock and had a station tuned on that played those "Oldies" I had turned on route 4 when Styx's "Babe" came on. The words were like a haunting reminder as if my late husband were saying the words himself. Til this day I have trouble listening to the song because it makes me cry.
Its going on seven years since his death and still its just the kids and I, seven years older. Days go by and its easier but there are days when it isn't. I recall what my late husband's aunt told me( being and still a widow) at his funeral "This is the easy part." I thought "Easy" but she right. The lonely days and nights since are harder for the kids and I . We go on and share happy times together, there will always be an empty feeling. Having family around you that love and care for you make all the difference in the world.
I know my late husband is fine, he is in a place where he is healthy and happy. I am sure in heaven you get to do the things you enjoyed here on earth and I am sure he is farming his own land in Heaven.
I think about you, Jeff and know you are just fine, you would be proud of Jon as he is in the marching band R.O.T.C. Carianne is having trouble with anorexia but is doing better, she plays saxophone, sings and even tried a violin. Me, I am doing the best I can, I miss you!
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